Stop, Drop, and Keep Rolling Rolling Rolling

It's hard being a motivational speaker.

Umm, you're not one.

Especially to packed (or empty) rooms.

Gotta be tough.

But I imagine it's gotta be a hard life.

Getting up.

That's pretty hard.

In front of a bunch of mores.

And musing for 15 minutes.

Hour tops.

I hear Tony Robs makes you listen for hours.

Like a gotdang concert festival.

Tonechella!

But who's got the time for that?

A bunch of mores.

So here I sits.

Typing away at my old typewriter.

It tings every time I reach the end of the margin.

Gotta hit return.

How many of you are here because of the free food?

🧀

How many are looking forward to my upsell?

Listen, closely.

Most of you are not going to make it.

However you define it.

But here's the silver lining:

It'll be a blessing to some of you.

Because those among you who ultimately do "make" it, will be the unhappiest of us all.

The most fallen.

What goes up, after all.

This is why I came up with "Snake Life™️."

Maintain, at all times, full bodily contact with the ground.

Don't ever walk upright.

More a slither.

🐍

Full body contact on floor.

At all times.

Wiggle.

Writhe.

Like you breakin' at the world games.

Oh sheet, Yoda's here?

Keeps one grounded.

I'm signing copies of my new book, "Do The Worm!" after the seminar in the back.

19.99 normally but if you buy today it's 21 even.

If you want me to sign it, I'll give it to you for free.

Don't read what I say about you in the front.

MOTIVATIONAL!

Carpe dimes!!

Can't fall if you're already there!!!

This is some good stuff.

Where's my trampoline?