I Love You

I don't really want you to know hard days.

Yes, you do.

But yes, I do.

Do you want to know why?

Because an easy life is a wasted life.

I say this because I have had a blessed life.

And there were times of ease, even though it didn't seem easy at the time.

But it takes hard days to really show you how easy those days were.

How blessed you are.

I want you to have hard days you can bounce back from.

Stronger than ever.

I don't want you to have the kind you can't.

Recency bias is a heck of a thing.

The latest challenges feel like the hardest.

But in my truest frame I know that simply isn't so.

It's just here right now.

And let me say, it was terrible.

I don't want to rank terribles, but it was right up there.

Right now, it's kinda bad.

Which I'll take.

Kinda bad leads to kinda ok which leads to kinda good.

This most recent kinda good day was trending to really good, then whammo!

Went really south.

It's all really strange, but I want to write about it as contemporaneously (and vaguely) as I can.

And the fact that I can write at all shows that I'm doing well enough to do that.

At the end of the day, this whole place is a love letter to my family.

To my wife.

To my children.

To my blood.

Daddy going through it right now.

But Daddy been through it before.

And each time.

Every time.

Daddy had something to fight for.

Had someones to fight for.

And you'll never know how much that fuels me.

I'd try to tell you here, but I'd be a faucet.

I'm a lifelong loner who turned into a family man.

Thanks to you.

Ordeals are stern teachers.

But remember, this, too, shall pass.

I love you.

And I thank you.

For giving me something and someones to live for.

Thank you, God.

For the reminders.