Opus Apex

For the first twenty or so years of your life, your life is pretty much about you.

Maybe 30.

Sometime before 40, I hope, you start to think about other people more than you do about yourself.

At least, that's what happened to me.

My life hasn't been about me for a long time.

And I love it that way.

There was a season where everything was about me again a few years ago, but that's because I was fighting for my life.

That was/is a boss battle.

But even then, I wanted to make sure my family was taken care of.

Was impacted least.

Were finding silver linings.

I don't say that to brag, I just didn't want to go out without leaving instructions or on a bad note.

I wanted them to remember me at my best.

I didn't want to whither away.

But I almost did.

I mean I withered.

But not totally away.

You come to peace in such moments.

What a good run I had.

How blessed.

You see, the loss is all on this side of life.

For those that remain.

At least, that's how I choose to see it.

It's funny.

All this time feels extra.

Like a bonus.

Like an after-but-before-afterlife.

A sequel.

Like I got a second chance.

I've had a few of those, you know.

I wish I could tell you it will all work out. 

But you have to figure it out on your own.

I will say that I always thought life was all about me.

How I didn't need anyone.

And how wrong I was.

How it's all about the people you love.

All about the people who love you.

Not fake you.

The real you.

The one that appears when everyone else is gone you.

They know that you. They know you by your actions, your thoughts, not just your words.

These are the ones that get to stay.

Because they loved you even at your withered.

And they cheer you loudest at your best.

I think the kids call it being a "real one."

So this is for the real ones.

Am I saying that right?

Oh, I'm not.

This is for my real ones.

Who know my real one.

The end and the beginning.

♥️