Guests In My Corn

"You mean out?"

"Yeah. Out."

"Far out."

Since you all come here for advice.

[Covers mic.]

Why do people come here?

They probably typed "iterating.com" into their browser to see where it went.

Oh right.

[Uncovers mic.]

Since you all come to iterating.com because you love me, because you long to hear what I have to say, here's another gem.

Polished and gleaming.

Find a subject you love that everyone around you seems to think is a terrible, just terrible, waste of time.

Why?

Well, for one, it ticks off folks.

Which is terrible, but kinda hilarious.

But I also think it's indicative of you.

The pure you.

To love something that no one around you seems to.

Of course, it could be your way of rebelling.

Or being an arse.

I just love stomping on the floor above you, it gives me a tremendous sense of self-satisfaction.

Too early to tell.

But love what you love.

Within reason of course.

So the next time you catch yourself in another deep rabbit hole, taking a pill from Larry Fishy (don't take pills from Larry Fishy, bad idea. Or anything from people wearing long leather coats and pince-nez sunglasses. Trust.).

💊

Trust.

Where was I?

That was a terrible sentence up there.

And that's what I'm saying.

A lot of people, I daresay most, would come here and hate vehemently dislike the way I write.

From the old(ish) man ramblings, the single sentence paragraphs, and the incessant inability to call myself old(ish) without adding the -ish in parentheses at the end.

It's just not for everyone.

I didn't make it for everyone.

Why did you make it?

I made it to help me.

If it helps one other person:

Incredible.

Two?

Fantastic.

Three??

Dare to dream.

Four???

Getting greedy.

Look, what I'm saying is keep reading this sheet, no matter how many people ask you:

"Why in the world are you reading this sheet?"

But seriously.

Seriously.

I have to be here.

Why are you here?

Is it 'cause I built it?

"Wait a second. Wait a second. Why him? I built this field. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. Well you wouldn't..."

"Ray for God's sake. I'm unattached. You have a family."

"I know! But I wanna know what's out there. I wanna see it."

"But you're not invited."

"Not invited? What do you mean I'm not invited? That's my corn out there. You guys are guests in my corn."

"Ray..."

"No, wait! I have done everything I have been asked to do. I didn't understand it but I've done it. And I haven't once asked what's in it for me."

"What are you saying, Ray?"

"I'm saying, what's in it for me?"

"Is that why you did this? For you?" 

Yes. 

Hey! 

Joe!

Look what I found:

👟👟