By Feels

Perhaps, I have figured out a way to keep writing.

I took a typing class in eight grade that changed my life.

We all worked on big mechanical metal typewriters and we learned by starting with the individual keys covered with little white stickers.

We learned to type by feel. Not sight. Well, I think we had an overhead projector that showed where the keys were, but we couldn't look down at the keys for help.

We had to train our fingers to know which letters they were responsible for.

The pinkies had the least responsibility, whereas the index and middle got the brunt.

Anyways, my point being, perhaps I can type with my eyes closed.

I can peek at the keys but I know when my fingers strike true.

This is not an ideal way to write, but I somehow feel more attuned to writing this way.

My eyes aren't fighting the screen, I'm keeping them mostly closed, just my fingers hunting the board. I know this seems like a cruel twist of fate, but I have learned we just never know what's going to happen and that there is no sustained new normals.

Only seasons. Windows of time.

Take nothing for granted.

I can type this way. Not sure how great I'll write. But I suppose you could have asked that all along.

I can write with my eyes closed. What a blessing that is. I hope to share more substantive stuff in the near future. But forgive me any typos. 

The key to typing by feel is knowing where you are. I touch my index fingers together to make sure they are aligned and in the right position. Otherwise, it's anarchy.

What I am learning is that I must write. If only for myself. And some times, many times, all the time, when you must have something, you are tested.

So, I suppose, this is some sort of test.

That's ok. 

And, as I have learned to say, even in nonoptimal conditions, what does this make possible?

I just realized, for the first time ever, that the "j" and "f" keys (where your index fingers rest), have a little notch at the bottom. None of the other keys do. I think this is so you know where to orient them. Where to rest them.

I remember doing that now. When learning to type. I would peel a corner of a sticker for each hand, so I could feel a certain letter. I'd peel the corner up on "a" and "l" keys so I knew where they were by feel, fi not by sight.

Have "f" and "j" always been so distinguished? Weird, I never noticed.

I will now. 

All because I starting writing by feel.