Army Of One

I know what you're thinking.

You expect us to come here everyday and read something that only takes you five minutes to write?

And to that I retort, "How dare you?"

First of all, I expect no one to read this.

Isn't that obvious?

This is [waves hands all around musings column] for me.

And second of all, I'll have you know it takes six minutes sometimes.

Maybe even seven.

Eight.

You might think I feign outrage when I have nothing to say.

You might think that.

And it might look like that right now.

You dirty son of a...

But you'd be wrong.

I just think in this day and age of everyone trying to sell you something, usually themselves, that me coming here and just writing about farts and love is awesome.